In the picture below, I look incredibly happy among shelves full of Gucci bags.
Yes. I’m a snob. I’m obsessed with brands, and I’m no longer ashamed to say it out loud.
In the past, I was ashamed of this truth about myself.
Now I know it’s not my only truth.
I know I am more than that.
I am deep, and I help the people around me who need it.
My generosity, depth, even my spirituality, can coexist perfectly well with a designer bag and a diamond ring.
Since I was very young, when I first discovered the world of luxury fashion, I deeply wanted an expensive handbag. One specific bag.
I knew exactly the size, the model, the color.
Expensive.
When I say expensive, I mean very expensive.
I worked hard to save money for that bag, the one I thought would make me feel special, but every time, there was someone who needed help or some problem I had to solve with my money.
In my early thirties, I could finally afford to buy it.
I touched its soft caviar leather.
I inspected the tiny stitches, the heavy chain, the rounded golden clasp.
I couldn’t believe it was finally mine!
I was in heaven.
For a few seconds.
Then my best friends, shame and guilt, showed up.
I couldn’t keep that bag for even a month!
I sold it for less and gave the money to my parents so they could fix the roof of their house.
I even told them, “Please, take this money before I do something stupid again.”
This is a story I shared during the Write the Truth writing course, and later unpacked in individual therapy.
Sometimes, truth begins with a designer bag and ends with self-acceptance.
And I know now that it was never about the price, but about how valuable I feel without the label.