“Stop emoticoning and start emoting.”
I got used to masking my feelings in small, round, colorful symbols. A 🙂 to seem okay. A ❤️ to avoid any explanation. A 😂 to cover up a lump in my throat. I turned emoticons into a plastic language, a thin shield between me and a world that I imagine doesn’t always have the capacity for truth.
But my truth doesn’t fit into a tiny icon.
My truth needs space and courage.
I started to realize that every symbol I send instead of a real emotion makes me quieter, more cautious, more tightened inside myself. It’s as if I were replacing my heartbeat with an EKG printout.
And still, far too often, I choose the imitation. Because it’s simpler. Because I don’t ask anything of anyone when I send a 🙂, but a real emotion requires presence, attention, a moment of vulnerability I’m not sure others want to receive. And that’s just my perception.
When I say “Stop emoticoning and start emoting,” I’m saying it to myself:
Don’t dilute your soul out of fear of being inconvenient.
Stop reducing what you feel to comfortable symbols.
Don’t confuse quick reactions with real connection.
If this is your truth, say it clearly: “I’m hurt.”
Dare to ask: “Can you listen to me?”
Find the courage to admit: “I’m afraid, but I don’t want to hide.”
I don’t want to be perfect.
I want to be present.
I want to be whole, even if that means not always being comfortable.
The emoticon offers me a minimized version of myself.
Emotion asks me to show up in full size.
I want to choose more often to express my feelings exactly as they are.
Not packaged. Not adjusted. Not artificially colored. Because I know from experience that when I do that, something appears that no symbol can create: a real bridge between me and another person. A space where we meet as humans, not avatars.
I don’t need emoticons to be understood.
I need sincerity.
Words that come from me, not from a preset list.
So I choose to speak.
I choose to feel.
I choose to let emotion breathe in sentences.
Stop emoticoning.
Start emoting.
And with every true sentence I speak, I feel myself getting closer to myself, more clearly, without filters.
This is how my freedom is built:
not from quick reactions, but from a truth fully spoken.