About releasing anger, about resources (a pair of scissors), and about unlocking creativity. A real-life example. My child.
My children bought themselves some bath oil capsules shaped like little animals. Each had a favorite. The youngest was very attached to his. He kept it carefully and did not want to use it yet.
At some point, the older one pressed on it so hard that it burst and the oil spilled out. It all happened very fast.
The younger one screamed at the top of his lungs and lunged at his brother to hit him. His face was red, his fists clenched, and his anger drove the other one to lock himself in the bathroom in fear.
Before I could reach them, the younger one was already pounding on the door with his fists, threatening him to come out.
I went to him and gently pulled him away from the door so we could talk, reassuring the older one that it was safe to come out. I sat next to the younger one and listened to his story, told through screams and stomping feet. He said he was very angry that his favorite shark capsule had been ruined and that nothing would make him feel better except hitting his brother. Even though he knew that would not bring back what he had lost.
The older one, who was sitting remorsefully on the couch behind me, said he had an idea:
“What if you punch a pillow really hard instead of punching me?”
“No! That’s not enough!” the younger one shouted.
“But…,” the older one continued, “what if you punch the pillow so hard that you rip it?”
The younger one’s eyes widened.
“Yes! Mom, can I rip a pillow?”
I went and brought him a pillow we no longer used and were planning to throw away anyway. I told him he could do whatever he wanted with it.
He started punching it with his fists. He pulled at it, squeezed it, tried to tear it. He was breathing heavily and was very focused on what he was doing. After a while, he got tired. He stopped and said he needed scissors. He went by himself, found them, came back, and cut into the pillow. Once it was opened, he began tearing it apart with his hands. He took all the stuffing out and spread it around the house.
When he finished, he paused. He came to me calmly and said he wanted paper and glue because he wanted to make something with the stuffing from the pillow. I gave them to him. He sat at the table and started gluing, coloring, and crafting. He stayed like that for almost an hour, calm and focused, without arguing with anyone anymore.